Warrior Cats in Jayfeather's Catnip Adventures!
by OwlCookies XD
Summary: What happens when Jayfeather eats catnip? I'll tell you what happens...! This is about the many adventures Jayfeather and friends come through.  one chapter is one episode the next episode is completely different than the first
1. Chapter 1

**OwlCookies: HEY THERE ITS OWLIE WITH A SPAZZFUL WARRIORS STORY!**

**Neiyo: I fear wat ur gunna type**

**OwlCookies: no worries! I put it all on my ipod!**

**Neiyo: im sure…**

**OwlCookies: let me make a note that ill be naming the warrior cats like this; JF is jayfeather DP is dovepaw. I'm only doing that for thunderclan tho. Kay? We clear? Good. No prepare urselves!**

**Neiyo: by the way… owlie doesn't own anything except for the plot! She doesn't own the warriors, the clans, of Maka's famous Maka Chop**

**OwlCookies: *nods in agreement***

**XXX**

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS NOT SUITIBLE FOR PEOPLE WHO CRAP THEIR PANTS ONCE THEY LAUGH. BE SURE TO USE THE TOILET BEFORE READING….**

JF: *eats catnip that's dried out and old* … *after a few moments, Jayfeather gets high.* Now let the story begin…

JF: *jumps on high rock* I HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

LB: what is it bro?

JF: I have a song I would like to sing….

LP: W…T…F…?

Half of the clan: NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION, LEAFPOOL!

JF: *clears his throat* IMA GUNNA BEA SINGIN ROXANNE *clears throat even more* COUGH COUGH WHERES THE WATER? WHERES THE WATER?

Clan: *blinks*

JF: Anywhoo… Here is… ROXANNE….

**TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS**

**TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS**

**TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS**

**TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS**

**TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS**

**TURN ON THE RED LIGHTS….**

(many turn on the red lights later…)

DP: *whispers to Ivypaw* What song is thing?  
IP *shrugs and whispers back* honestly, I don't remember…

LB: *overhears conversation* Jayfeather says it's called Roxanne

IP and DP: IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

LB: *shrugs* I think he mentioned something about making it for his mate…. Uhm… Sticky….

IP and DP: *face palm*

(SEVERAL MINUTES LATER)

JF: THANK CHU! THANK CHU!

Most of the clan: YAY! WOOT! WE LOVE CHU!

DP, IP, LB, and LP: W…T…F….

JF: *glomps them* SHUN THE NON BELIEVERS! SSSSSHHHHUUUUNNN!

The rest of the stupid clan: !

FS: BURN BABY BURN!

JF: NOW I DECLARE MYSELF LEADER OF RICK AND ROLL AND THIS CLAN WILL BE NAMED ROXANNECLAN! MY NAME IS NOW ROXANNESTAR!

The idiot clan members: ROXANNESTAR! ROXANNESTAR! ROXANNESTAR!

DP, IP, and LP: *face palm*

LB: *vein annoyingly twitches* I can't believe that's my brother…

LP: *looks extremely annoyed* I can't believe that's my son…

-Meanwhile in StarClan-

Pinestar: *twitched annoyed and glares at Bluestar* WHAT HAPPENED TO OUT CLAN?

Bluestar: *looks equally annoyed* MAYBE WHEN THEY LEARNED YOU WERE GAY IT RUBBED OFF ON THEM

Tigerstar: *just happens to hear* See, if you made me leader…

Bluestar: MAKAAAAAAAAAAA CHOP! *chops Tigerstar's head HARD*OUR CLAN WOULD BE GAYER IS YOU WERE THE LEADER

Pinestar: FOR STARCLANS SAKE! SAVE THUNDERCLAN!

Yellowfang: *snorts* Too late to save them! They're not ThunderClan anymore. They're RoxanneClan.

Bluestar: THAT'S JUST AS [insert harsh swear word here] UP!

Pinestar: WHERE HAS THUNDERCLAN GO WRONG?

Tigerstar: When you-

Bluestar: MAKAAAA CHOP! *smashes Tigerstars head with a large twoleg encyclopedia* Shut up! No one cares what you think, Tigerstar!

Tigerstar: *lays unconscious seeing the moon revolving around his head*

-In ThunderClan….-

Roxannestar(Jayfeather)- EVERYONE! WE HAS A NEW IDOL!

Clan: OH MY STARCLAN WHO

RS: *holds up a stick with a small leaf* My mate Sticky and I had a kitten! He is a descendant of ME, Roxannestar! WORSHIP STIK IN AWE!

Most of the clan: *looks in awe* ALL HAIL STIK ALL HAIL STIK

The sane cats of the clan: *face palm*

LB: Hey, let's ditch our clan and move to a more saner one.

DP, IP, and LP: *nods* To WindClan!

The four cats: *sneaks out while clan is worshipping Stik, then escapes to WindClan

-At WindClan….-

Onestar: Ok WindClan! We're no longer going to be WindClan! We're going to be CheeseClan!

Cheesepaw: WOOOOOOOOOOT!

Onestar: *kills cheesepaw* I take it back. We're going to be CharlieClan!

Whole clan except for Heathertail and Nightcloud: WPPPPPPPPPPPPPPT!

Heathertail: …Charlie?

(Charlie the unicorn and his two weird unicorns fly into their camo)

Breezepelt: OMGSC ITS CHARLIE THE UNICORN! *squeals and faints*

Onestar: Bow down to Charlie!

(Whole clan except HT and NC bow down)

Everyone except Charlie, HT, and NC: SHUN THE NON BELIEVERS! SSSHHHUUUNNN!

Charlie: …what?

HT: *face palm*

(the unicorn faces turn into 3 girls*

Pink unicorn: JJJJJJJJAAAAAADDDDDDEEEEEE! IIIITTTT''''SSSS AAAAPPPPRRRRIIILLLL!

Purple unicorn: JJJAAAAHHH DDDAAAYYY! IIIITTTT''''SSSS CCCHHHEEELLLSSSEEEAAA!

Charlie(Jade): WHAT DO YOU TWO MIDGETS WANT

Pink(April): T… the… the door!

Purple(Chelsea): The door controls all time and space!

April: Love and death!

Charlie: SHUDDUP APRIL

Chelsea and April: SSSSHHHUUUUNNNN THE NON BELIEVER! SSSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUUUNNNNNN!

HT, NC, and Charlie: *face palm*

Most of WindClan: SSSSHHHHUUUNNNN!

(LB, IP, DP, and LP run in)

LB: AARG! WINCLANS BEEN CAUGHT WITH THE STUPIDITY TOO!

LP: AHEMGEEE IT'S CHARLIE THE UNICORN! *runs over to Charlie squealing like an idiot*

IP: NO! NOT LEAFPOOL!

DP: [insert swear word here] IT SHE'S CAUGHT THE STUPIDITY!

LB: *face palms and forehead starts turning red* QUICK! TO RIVERCLAN! BEFORE THEY CATCH IT TO!

HT: LIONBLAZE! TAKE US WITH YOU! OUR CLANS INSANE!

LB: EWW NO! WHY YOU SO STOOOPIDDD?

Heathertail and Nightcloud: EXCUSE ME!

LB: *snorts* your excused! DOVEPAW! IVYPAW! LET'S GO!

(the ThunderClan cats run towards RiverClan leaving the two WindClan cats)

Heathertail: NOOOOOO LIONY! I LOVE CHUUUUUUUU

NC: NOOOO NOT HEATHERTAIL!

HT: OMSC LET'S GO PET CHARLIE!

Charlie(Jade): OH NOEZZZ *runs away*

Purple and Pink: 

Onestar: 

Nightcloud: STARCLAN SAVE MEEEEEE! *looks at Charlie flying away* OOOHHH I WANNA RIDE CHARLIE'S BACK! COME BACK HERE PEGAHORN!

Lionblaze: *calls from afar* CHARLIE'S A UNICORN STUPID!

-In StarClan…-

Tallstar: *walks over to Bluestar completely annoyed and depressed) T_T

Bluestar: Let me guess. The stupidity got your clan to?

Tallstar: *bangs head against rocks* WHAT HAS MY CLAN TURNED INTO?

Tigerstar: According to them, they're CharlieClan.

Bluestar: MAKAAAAAAAAA CHOP! *makes Tigerstar's head all deformed*

Tigerstar: [BEEEP BEEEEEEP BBEEEPP BEEP BEEP BBBBBEEEEEEEPPP] !

(Crookedstar and Oakheart come over)

Oakheart: HAHA! You suckers! Your clans are both stupid!

Bluestar: *hisses at Oakheart* SAY THAT IN MY FACE OAKY!

Tigerstar: *snorts and Oakheart and Bluestar start making out in a corner* Look again Crookedstar.

(Crookedstar and Tigerstar look into the magical viewing pie)

-In RiverClan…-

(LB, DP, and IP run in) RiverClan is doing their normal RiverClan stuff…

Leopardstar: HOW DARE YOU BARGE INTO MY TERRITORY WITHOUT PERMISSION!

Lionblaze: *huffs and pants all tired and freaked* NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! IF YOU DON'T ESCAPE SOON YOUR CLAN WILL BE INFECTED WITH THE STUPID!

Leopardstar: *looks at LB all like, LOLWUT?* What do you mean? Stupid is not a disease

Dovepaw: WELL LOOK WOMAN! NOW IT IS! *points to Willowshine who was kissing his phone*

Leopardstar: *blinks* Willowshine _always _does that…

The ThunderClan cats: *facepalm*

Leopardstar: WELCOME TO MY CLAN ROXANNECLAN CATS! WE NOW HAVE A NEW NAME!

All the RiverClan cats gathered around Leopardstar: OOOHHH!

Mistyfoot: *squeaks* CAN IT BE CARAMELCLAN!

Leopardstar: *looks at Mistyfoot all drunk* [BEEP] ya! WE ARE NO LONGER RIVERCLAN! WE ARE CARAMELLCLAN!

Lionblaze: WHY DOES STARCLAN HATE US SOOOOOOO!

(Suddenly, caramel starts falling to the ground randomly hitting every single CaramellClan cat)

Ivypaw: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! CARAMELLLLLLLLLLL! I WANT SOME!

Dovepaw: NOOOOOOOO! IVYPAW CAUGHT THE STUPID!

(Lionblaze drags Dovepaw away who wants to try to save Ivypaw)

Lionblaze: TO SHADOWCLAN!

-In StarClan… once again ._.-

Nightstar: I can't believe all the clans became stupid.

Bluestar: *sighs exasperated* All except two of my warriors…

Tallstar: My clan is a goner

Nightstar: Mine's just plain old stupid T.T

Crookedstar: I don't even wanna know why the heck caramel is randomly falling to the ground.

Oakheart: Oh well. I know how to make the bright side!

Crookedstar: *looks hopefully at his brother*

Oakheart: *makes out with bluestar*

Tallstar: of course…. Let me go down. I'm announcing that they're now called StupidClan.

XXX

Tallstar: *stands in the middle of the lake and grabs a bullhorn* ATTENTION ROXANNECLAN, CHARLIECLAN, CARAMELCLAN, AND TWIXCLAN!

(the four stupid clans except for Lionblaze and Dovepaw gather underneath the flying ancestor)

Tallstar: STARCLAN HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT! YOU ARE ALL UNITED AND ARE NOW CALLED STUPIDCLAN

Lionblaze and Dovepaw: *waves to Tallstar* KILL USSSSSS!

Tallstar: *floats down to Lionblaze and Dovepaw and kills them*

LB and DP: THANK YOUUUUU! *floats up to StarClan

Tallstar: _ ._.* How did this all happen?

OwlCookies: How did this all happen? I'll tell you how it all happened… It-

Tallstar: Well…?

OwlCookies: The legend began in the 12th century….

Tallstar: oh my dear god no…

OwlCookies: It was a chilling winter! Yes, indeed it was a scorching hot Saturday of July. That was where it began. Or, it could have been a Monday. Or a Thursday. But you can never be sure it could of also been a Friday! Ah a great day to start a legend…

Excalibur: FOOL! *whacks owlie with stik* HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY LEGEND!

Roxannestar: *beats up Excalibur* HOW –punch- DARE –slash- YOU –bite- DISRESPECT –falcon punch- STIK! –domo chop-

Shanon Williams: HEYYYYYYYY DOMO CHOPS MINE!

Bluestar: MAKAAAAA CHOP! *chops everyone out cold*

Maka Albarn* HEY! MY MAKA CHOP! *maka chops bluestar dead*

XXX

**Neiyo: *pants slamming the warrior world door shut* HOLY SHHHHTTTT!**

**Neiyo: Owlie? Hello?**

**OwlCookies: *head bleeds from the domo chop and maka chop***

**Neiyo: oh my god. I guess I'll have to close this myself! Ther might be another chapter… then again there might not. Owlie has to heal from her extremely deadly concussion first so….**

**B**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Neiyo: ToT owlie still has her concussion… geez maka, bluestar, couldn't u of hit her softer?**

**Maka and Bluestar: nope :P**

**Neiyo: sigh…. Ok… on to the randomness…. Oh! And the same rules as last chapter applies to this one**

…**. Owlie doesn't own the ideas for this chapter. It's from demonslyr who has left youtube sadly…**

**XXX**

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS NOT SUITIBLE FOR PEOPLE WHO CRAP THEIR PANTS ONCE THEY LAUGH. BE SURE TO USE THE TOILET BEFORE READING….**

JF: *eats catnip that's dried out and old* … *after a few moments, Jayfeather gets high.* Now let the story begin…

JF: FIREYSTAR!

FS: yes?

JF: its not ur fault

FS: lolwut?

JF: its not ur fault! Its not ur fault!

FS: …huh?

JF: ITS NOT YOUR FAULT FIRESTAR ITS NOT UR FAULT!

FS: JAYFEATHER WAT R U TALKING ABOUT?

JF: ITS NOT UR FAULT ITS NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BEEEN UR FAULT!

FS: *pauses with deep silence* AAAAAHHHHH! *screams like a girl and explodes*

JF: hehehehe…. I did it again XD

LB: *sees firestar's exploded body* HOLY STARCLAN! DON'T TELL ME YOU DID THAT AGAIN!

JF: heh…heh…heh… *goes on his laptop and posts the video on youtube*

LB: *peers over jayfeathers shoulder* JayCat72? Really?  
JF: HEY! MAKAAAAA CHOP! *whacks lionblaze with his laptop

Lionblaze: *collapses knocked out*

Leafpool: *randomly comes in and see's lionblaze* HOLY STARCLAN WHAT THE [BEEP] DID YOU DO?

Jayfeather: I used explosives :]

Leafpool: *face palm*

XXX IN RIVERCLAN XXX

Mistystar: hm… I could use some amp and a taco… *walks through clan*

Willowshine: *is still kissing his cellphone* HEY MISTYSTAR!

Mistystar: hey Willowshine!

Reedwhisker: Hey Mistystar!

Mistystar: sup! *arrives at the minifridge* Ah… the minifridge! *opens it*

Reedwhisker: *in the distance* Dear StarClan!

Mistystar: HUH? WAH? WHERE'S MY TACO AND AMP? *dramatic voice* No…

**BOOM!**

Reedwhisker: Willowshine?

Willowshine: Yes?

Reedwhisker: I thought I told you to hide the rocket launcher.

Willowshine: *hisses because the explosion killed his phone* I DID.

XXX In ShadowClan XXX

Rowanclaw: HO HA! HO HA!

Blackstar: nya nya nya nya, nya nya nya nya nya nya nyaa~ Have you ever been in love?

Rowanclaw: He's my best friend best of all best friends

Blackstar: do you have a best friend to?

Rowanclaw: it tickles in my tummy!

Blackstar: feels so yummy yummy hey!

Rowanclaw: you should get a best friend t-

Blackstar: AAAAAAARGHHHH! GAY YAOI!

Jayfeather: *slyly slips in* P.) Nah mah… It's called _guy love_ *slyly slips out* P.]

Blackstar: *blinks*

Rowanclaw: …huh?

Jayfeather: *takes pictures as Blackstar and Rowanclaw start making out*

XXX In WindClan XXX

Crowfeather: *strangles Nightcloud* I. DIDN'T. STEAL. YOUR. BUTTER!

Block of Butter: *appears in Crowfeather's hand* oh rly..?

Nightcloud: *suffocates* WHY CROWY WHY?

Crowfeather: *squeezes tighter* I TOLD YOU! I. DIDN'T. STEAL. YOUR. FRIGGIN. BUTTER!

Nightcloud: *dies*

Crowfeather: *blinks* YAY!

Breezepelt: *comes in* OMSC YAY! YOU KILLED HER!

All of WindClan appears: *some high fived Crowfeather* good job!

Onestar: *gives Crowfeather and ipod and $50 itunes card* As a leader to a warrior, you deserved this!

Crowfeather: *squeals like an idiot* THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFFFFEEEEEE! *happy barfs and then explodes*

Maka Albarn: Eww…. So my creepy dad isn't the only one who happy barfs

WindClan and Maka: *slowly backs away from Crowfeather*

-Back in ThunderClan…-

Whitewing: HAPPY BORTHDAH JAYFEATHER! *holds up a giant pie*

JF: OMSC THANKIES! *glomps whitewing*

WW: *throws pie in jf's face* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSAHSHA! *runs away screaming like a chimpanzee*

JF: *eyes turn red* IMA FIREN MAH LAZORS! *burns whitewing to death*

DP: MOMEEEEEE! THAT'S IT JAYFEATHER! IM TAKING YOU POWERS AWAY!

JF: MWAHAHAHAHA how can you? STARCLAN GAVE IT TO ME!

DP: IM PART OF THE PROPHECY TO!

Whole clan: What prophecy?

FS: THE PROPHECY I TOLD YOU ABOUT

Clan:….which one?

FS: WHERE DOVEPAW FALLS IN LOVE WITH IVYPAW!

IP: R…really Dovepaw? Y…you love me?

DP: YES I DOOOO! YOUR SO MUCH HOTTER THAN TIGERHEART AND JUSTINE BEAVER COMBINED!

(dovepaw and ivypaw star making out)

Firestar: *whispers to Jayfeather* They knew we were joking…right?

Jayfeather: T.T I severly doubt it. *eyes turn red*

FS: OMSC NOOOO!

JF: *shoots his lazors at IP and DP* ONLY GUY LOVE IS ALLOWED IN THIS CLAN!

FS: dude. This is my clan

JF: …or ish it…?

-In StarClan-

Bluestar: WHY IS MY CLAN SO STUPID?

Pinestar: if you look closely at Jyafeather, I think. OMSC I think he's eating catnip!

Bluestar: SO THAT'S IT!

Pinestar: yes and it seems that stupidity truly is a virus

Bluestar: *nods*

Pinestar: but I don't get how it makes you stupid. *eats bad full of catnip*

Bluestar: Oh noez -_- *sighs and eats some catnip to*

Later…

Oakheart: BLUESTAR HOW COULD YOUUUUUU!

(bluestar and pinestar are making out)

Bluestar: when I was your age, our toys were dirt. And we were happy! Now you youngns are eatin catnip an all that sort!

Pinestar: when I was YOUR age, we had to run down a mountain, in the snow, in a blizzard, on a cliff, to get down to McDonalds! But when we got there it was stinkin Burger King! So we had to climb back up, in the rain, with lightning and thunder, and mudslides, and tumble back down, to McDonalds with broken bones, and money we found out they didn' accept!

Bluestar: *pats Pinestar's back* You poor ole thing!

Oakheart: [BEEEP] IT YOU GUYS ARE ON CATNIP TO! *runs away screaming like a little girl*

-Back in ThunderClan…-

Longtail: ATTENTION ALL ELDERSSS! WE ARE HAVING THE 2… BINGO!

Purdy and Mousefur: YACHTZEE!

Longtail: ahahaha…. WELL ANYWAYS… WE ARE HAVING THE 26TH ANNUAL 'WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE' OFF! 25 TIME WINNER PURDY, VERSUS 1 TIME WINNER MOUSEFUR!

Purdy: MWAHAHAH! Good luck!

Mousefur: thank you :]

Longtail: CONTESTANTS….READY…GET SET… ANNNOOOYYY!

Purdy: When I was your age, if you wore skinny jeans, you were considered a [BEEP]

Mousefur: When I was YOUR age, graham was spelt g-r-a…a…BINGO!

Longtail: YACTZEE!

Purdy: MONOPOLY!

Longtail: PURDYS DISQUALIFIED BECAUSE SHE SAID A NAME THAT WAS NEW!

Mousefur: SSSHHUUNNN PURDY SHHUNN

Longtail: SSSSSEEEEAAAANNNN!

Purdy: …Shawn?

Longtail: SEAN! You know, from Nigahiga?

Mousefur: YES I WINN! DOUBLE WIN OH YA!

Purdy: "ignores mousefur* oh ya! Him!

Longtail: *pulls out his laptop and logs into youtube* hey! Jayfeather made a new video!

Mousefur: *peers from behind longtail's shoulder* you subscribed to him to?

Longtail: *nods then clicks on the video*

DEEP SILENCE…

Elders: HAHAHAHA XDDD FIRESTAR EXPLODED!

Longtail: *searches nigahiga and browses through videos*

Purdy: OH THAT ONE! AGENTS OF SECRET STUFF!

30 minutes later…

Mousefur: ahahah! "and Aden, I'm" "MY FATHER/!" "Ew no! I'm like as old as you so that's disgusing!"

Purdy: Are you people thinking what I'm thinking?

The other 2 elders: *nods evily* :]

Moments later…

Elders: *intensly stare at Sandstorm and get extremely close*

Sandstorm: *looks at them*

Elders: *quickly looks away trying not to giggle*

Snadstorm: *continues eating mouse*

Elders: *intensely stare and breathe down her neck*

Sandstorm: *freaks out* EXCUSE ME?

Elders: *looks away snickering*

Sandstorm: …. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *explodes*

Elders: WOOT!

JF: *slyly sneaks in* …meheheh…this is totally going on youtube… *slyly sneaks out*

Mousefur: He really needs to stop doing that…

The others and Sandstorm's soul: *nods* ya… ya… really…

-In WindClan…-

Heathertail: HEY! BREEZEPELT! WERYA GOIN?

Breezepelt: I'm gunna kill Jayfeather

Heathertail: Can I come?

Breezepelt: uh…sure

-In ThunderClan-

Lionblaze: OMSC HEY BREEZEPELT!

Breezepelt: Hey lion! Wassup!

Lionblaze: wassup!

BP and LB: *high fives eachother*

Jayfeather: Aren't you two like… supposed to be enemies?

Breezepelt: *slaps Jyafeather* SHUDDUP

Heathertail: LIONY!

Lionblaze: EW! IT'S YOU!

Heathertail: Fine! I'll make out with Jayfeather then!

Jayfeather: WAIT…WHAT/!

Heathertail: THAT'S RIGHT!

(JF and HT make out on the high rock)

Lionblaze: FFFT! LIKE I CARE! Breezepelt and I can make out to!

(LB and BP make out inside the nursery*)

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in* …guy love… *slyly sneaks out*

Breezepelt: *slaps Jayfeather* stop doing that

Daisy: EXCUSE ME YOU TWO! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING? I mean seriously! In front of the kits?

Breezepelt: *snorts* your excused!

Lionblaze: HIGH FIVE SEXYMAN!

(lLB and BP continue making out)

Kits in the nursery: *sees what LB and BP are doing. Laughs and makes out too*

Daisy: NOO! KITS!

Kits: *start doing censored things*

Daisy: *gets blind and almost faints*

Ferncloud: oh don't mind them! Let's do our own little thing!

(Ferncloud and Daisy make out)

Jayfeather: IMA FIREN MAH LAZORS! *shoots lazorz and ferncloud and daisy* ONLY GUY LOVE IS ALOUD!

Breezepelt: *slaps Jayfeather*

JF: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

BP: cuz I hate you

JF: *angrily goes on top of the highrock* I HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT

FS: HEY! IM THE LEADER!

JF: *fires his lazor at him* NOT ANYMAOR!

Thorncloud: ook… Whats your announcement?

JF: SILENCE! I KILL YOU! *shoots his lazor at him* Anyways… IMA FIREN MAH LAZORS AT YO MAMA'S FACES! *shoots his lazor at everyone even the winclan cats, burning them to the ground* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-In StarClan…-

Tallstar: ToT Dear lord please don't find out!

Crookedstar: What?

Tallstar: -.- Jayfeather killed two WindClan cats and now he's defenseless because he killed his clan

Crookedstar: *snorts* that's what ya get for being high on catnip!

-WindClan-

Onestar: HEY! Where's Heathertail and Breezepelt?

Harespring: They wanted to kill Jayfeather

Onestar: ITS BEEN 4 MOONS SINCE THEY LEFT

Harespring: oh ya! Jayfeather came over a few moons ago and told me that he killed them

Onestar: oh. Ok

-In StarClan-

Tallstar: -_- Heartless fools

Nightstar: Naw, they're just high on catnip

Tallstar: I suppose you're right

Crookedstar: *holds up a bad that says Cat XXMINTXX* Want some? Bluestar and Oakheart were eating some earlier and left some for us!

NS and TS: sure

(they all dig in)

Bluestar: *says all drunk* HEY GUYS! HAHA YOU SHOULD OF FELT OAKHEART! HE'S HUGE!

Oakheart: I've been working on it!

The other three: *mouths open wide* LEMME FEEL! *heads for the privates*

Oakheart: here! Feel my bicepts! Muscular huh?

Tallstar: oh…

Crookedstar: Thanks for the bag of catmint by the way

Oakheart: *still high and drunk* Oh no! That's not catmint! Bluestar changed it from catnip!

CS NS and TS: AHHHHHHHHH!

XXX

**Neiyo: once again, owlie has not recovered from her concussion sooo I'll end this**

**First off, we do not own anything! Even the plot for this one! Well… we own some of the plots… The story firestar freaking out and above was from demonslyr. The bottom is owlie's idea. So ya… thanks for reading!**

**B**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Neyio: hey there fanfic ppl! I got permission to officially take over this fanfic**

**Its just to bad owlie cant make these extras longer**

**OwlCookies: *moans in bed***

**Neiyo: o..m..g..**

**OwlCookies: *sleep talking* haha Pandora hearts is cute**

**Neiyo: *face palm* yet another anime….**

**XXX**

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS NOT SUITIBLE FOR PEOPLE WHO CRAP THEIR PANTS ONCE THEY LAUGH. BE SURE TO USE THE TOILET BEFORE READING….**

JF: *eats catnip that's dried out and old* … *after a few moments, Jayfeather gets high.* Now let the story begin…

DP: OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH

IP: OMIGOSH WAT

DP: *farts* HAIII

IP: AH EM GEEEE SICKO! *runs away screaming*

Whitewing: *whacks dp and ip with jayfeathers stick* HOW DARE YOU FART IN PUBLIC!

Jayfeather: *whacks ww with his mates stick, stik* HOW DARE YOU BE RUDE TO STICKY!

Sticky: "…"

JF: *nuzzles sticky* AWW! You know I love you sticky!

Sandstorm: AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR REVIEWERS

OwlCookies: *selfcounciously in a coma* THIS IS NEIYOS STORY PUNK

Sandstorm: anyways….

Gryphon: O.o ... Yikes... this is why all the medicine cats are crazy, and the catmint is so... so... (noms catmint)

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

other cats: HELP US!

/gryphon is high on catmint, so I am ending this review for your sanities' sake. Bye!/ ~Jay's Wing

*Jay, you aren't allowed to be here!* ~Janice

/SO WHAT?MUAHAHAHA/ ~Jay's Wing

Sandstorm: it was funny so I hope you don't mind m…US using it!

Brambleclaw: CHEESE PUFFS

Squirrelflight: CHEESE ITS

Brambleclaw: CHEESE PUFFS ;O

Squirrelflight: CHEESE. ITS

BC: CHEESE PUFFS FTW

SF: YOU'RE A CHEESE PUFF! CHEESE ITS FTW

BC: YOURE THE COLOR OF CHEESE ITZ

SF: AHA YOU SPELT IT WRONG

BC: YOU SPELT IT WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE

SF: CHEESE ITS

BC: CHEESE PUFFS

SF: CHEESE ITS PWN YOU

BC: I HATE YOU

SF: I HATE YOU MORE

BC: YOU LOOK LIKE A CHEESE PUFF

SF: IM NOT FAT! LOOK WHO'S TALKING!

BC: YOU ARE

SF: DON'T MAKE ME CALL MY DADDY AND HIS BROTHER

BC: HOLY STARCLAN NO!  
SF: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT

BC: *begs on his knees* IM SORREEEEEE TAKE ME BACKK!

SF: heheheh…. *dials numbers on her phone*

BC: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

SF: *phone* doo doo dododo~

(other line)

Scourge: yellow?

SF: you're…. black…

Scourge: what? You racist dog? You some sorta racist?

SF: no! no! im just saying!

Scourge: Yo so racist man!

SF: IMA GIRL YOU SEXIST FIEND

Scourge: Ya racist!

SF: *throws phone so far it smashes willowshines face* URG! *stomps off to scourges house*

BC: dear starclan! *calls firestar*

Firestar: *phone plays Barbie girl during [censored] session with sandstorm* EEP!

Sandstorm: WHO'S THAT? *glares at firestar*

FS: *answers phone* H…hello?

BC: *hisses* you daughter is hunting off scourge

FS: *hisses* Good for her! Geez woman! *shut phone*

BC: O.O I… I'm a girl…? NO! MY LIFE HAS BEEN A LIEEEEEEE

JF: *slyly sneaks in* P-) Guy love is always best… I recommend turning gay and loving Birchfall P-) *slyly sneaks out*

BC: T.T wtf stop doing that

With firestar and sandstorm….

Sandstorm: WHO WAS THAT?

Firestar: no one in particular

SS: GIMME THAT! *snatches phone away from fs*

Firestar: NOOOOOOOOO! *jumps on sandstorm*

SS: *kills firestar making him lose a life* GEEZ MAN! *browses through contacts* lets see…. Me… Leafpool… Squirrelflight… Princess…. WHAT WHAT WHO'S PRINCESS?

Firestar: *drowsily gets up* LOLWUT?

SS: *evil glares* HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL! BUT NOW YOUR GOING OUT WITH THIS PRINCESS PERSON?

Firestar:… O.o That's my-

SS: *runs away screaming and crying*

FS: THAT'S MY SISTER STARCLAN [BEEP] IT!

XXX In StarClan XXX

Bluestar: WHY IS MY CLAN ALWAYS LIKE THIS

Pinestar: aww c'mon! it's only been 3 days

Bluestar: *angry glares* YES. THREE. WHOLE. [BEEP]IN. DAYS!

PS: its not THAT bad!

BS: *shows pinestar the firestar and sandstorm moment*

PS: -_- our clans stupid

BS: PRESISLY

XXX in the darkforest xxx

Darkstripe: TIGERY!

Tigerstar: WADDYA WANT!

DS: I LUFFS CHU

TS: I HATES CHU

DS: AWW! YOU SAID CHU! *tries [BEEP]ing him*

TS: EWW WTSC WTSC WTSC WTSC GET OFF ME! *slaps DS*

Brokentail: you know you want to!

TS: I DON'T WANT TO

Brokenstar: well… I wrote a song for you two…

DS: :D

TS: .

BS: if you were gay! Duhduhduh duhduhduh! That would be ok!

TS: AGGGGHHHHH THE DARK FOREST IS TURNING INSANE! *spots a large bag of catnip*

DS: I'd love you anyyyyway!

TS: WHO THE HECK INVENTED CATNIP IT THE FIRSTPLACE?

DS: if you were queer….

TS: SHUT UP!

Brokenstar: you know you want to!

TS: if it makes you all shut up! *starts making out with darkstripe*

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in* P) guy love…. Remember that… P) *slyly sneaks out*

Brokenstar: *growls annoyed* do that one more time and I swear we'll all kill you T.T

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in front of brokenstar* Guy love… get some… *quickly and slyly sneaks out*

Brokenstar: :O COME BACK HERE YOU [BEEEEP!]

Darth Vader: FILTHY WORDS! *pulls out light saber and cuts brokenstars head off*

JF: yay!

Darth Vader: it's all part of the job! *pats jayfeathers head and explodes*

DS and TS: ….O.o ….? *continues making out*

JF: P) guy love… P) *slyly sneaks out*

XXX In RiverClan…XXX

Mistystar: ATTENTION CARAMELCLAN!

Willowshine: *makes out with the phone that smashed his face*

Mistystar: *looks at him* EXCEPT WILLOWSHINE

Clan except Willowshine: CARAMEL WONDER!

(Caramel starts raining from the sky)

Mistystar: BASK IN THE CARAMEL AND CARAMEL TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!

Clan: *dances around in caramel*

Willowshine: *turns on carameldansen song on phone* CARMAELDANSEN OOH OHH OWAWA!

Clan: *dances to song*

XXX In StarClan… XXX

Leopardstar: was my clan that stupid for that one day I led?

Oakheart and Crookedstar: *nods very scared*

Leopardstar: whoever invented catnip is going to get it .

Crookedstar: oh.. hah… haha… look at the time! Its… its… LETS GO OAKHEART! *drags oakheart and self out of the clearing*

Leopardstar: *sees the catnip making factory and narrows eyes* oh theyr gunna get it

Oakheart: *hides behind bluestar* save me bluey!

BLuestar: lulwut?

Oakheart: *points at leopardstar*

Bluestar: AH EM GEE! *loads rocket launchers* back away Oaky… this isn't going to be pretty!

Oakheart: *closes eyes*

Bluestar: BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM! *shoots the bullets like a missle at leopardstar making her extremely bloody*

Leopardstar: HOLY [BEEP!]

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE BLOOD

Leopardstar: *explodes and showers her blood all over the place*

BLuestar: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! *laughs hysterically*

Tallstar: …. *face palm*

Note: you may now read :]

In ShadowClan:

Littlecloud: OMG FLAMETAIL FELL DOWN THE ICEHOLE

Russetclaw and Tawnypelt: NOOOOO FLAMEY!

Tigerheart: starclan warned him o.o

Dawnpelt: poor bro

Rest of clan: SAVE HIM!

Olivenose: b…but he's dead!

Blackstar: OK TWIXCLAN! USE YOUR MAGICAL FAIRY POWERS TO MELT THE ICE AND SAVE HIM!

(shadowclan marches to the lake)

(eyes turn red and shoots lazors at the ice*

Jayfeather: *stares at what they're doing* OMSC I WANNA JOIN! *stands next to them* IMA FIREN MY LAZORS! *burns a big chunk of ice*

Flametail: O.O *blinks and looks at his clan* what the heck are you doing?

Blackstar: *turns around* saving you!

Flametail: b…bu…but im right here! I was just gathering herbs!

Blackstar: b…but littlecloud said!

Flametail: T.T littlecloud is dislusiounal

Blackstar: OH WELL THAT MAKES SENSE

Flametail: uhm… ya… right…

Jayfeather: *melts all the ice on the lake*

Blackstar: jayfeather… you can stop now!

JF: *burns the water so much its to hot to touch*

Blackstar: T.T oh well…. ROWANCLAW! COME HERE!

Rowanclaw: YES SIR!

Blackstar: you will now listen to dawnpelt's orders!

Rowanclaw: YESSIR!  
Dawnpelt: daddy. I want some juice

Rowanclaw: YESSIR!

Dawnpelt: b…but im a girl O.o

Rowanclaw: HERE IS YOUR JUICE SIR! *hands dawnpelt juice*

Dawnpelt: BLACKSTAR! WHY IS ROWANCLAW CALLING ME SIR?

Blackstar: BECAUSE HE'S IN THE TWIXCLAN ARMY! Isn't that right rowanclaw?

Rowanclaw: YESSIR!

Dawnpelt: right….

XXX In WindClan… XXX

Onestar: OMG CHARLIECLAN! ILL GIVE SOMEONE A UNICORN RIDE IF THEY CAN FIND CHARLIE

Breezepelt: BUT CHARLIE RAN AWAY

Crowfeather: BUT THE TWO OTHER UNICORNS ARE HERE!

Onestar: THIS IS charlieCLAN NOT THE OTHER TWO OTHER UNICORNCLAN!

Heathertail: OMSC I FOUND CHARLIE!

OS: OMSC WHERE?

HT: HE'S DROWNING IN THE LAKE

OS: [BEEP] NOW I HAFTA RENAME THE CLAN!

HT: LETS BE POPCORNCLAN

CLAN: YES!

OS: WE ARE NOW OFFICIALLY POPCORN CLAN!

(popcorn starts randomly falling from the ground)

OS: STARCLAN HAS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS!

(Charlie and the unicorns disappear)

OS: AW MAN :O

Clan: *eats all the popcorn* YAY!

OS: NIGHTCLOUD! GO TO ROXANNECLAN AND GIVE THEM SOME OF OUR POPCORN!

NC: HAI! *marches off*

OS: HARESPRING! GO TO TWIXCLAN AND GIVE THEM SOME OF OUR POPCORN!

HS: Nai!

OS: ASHFOOT! GO TO CARAMELCLAN AND GIVE THEM SOME OF OUR POPCORN!

AF: Ja!

OS: WAIT! YOU THREE! SPEAK TO THEM IN THOSE LANGUAGES!

NC: Hai!

HS: Nai!

AF: Ja!

OS: *pats krestleflight's back* a job well done!

JF: *slyly sneaks in* P) …guy love… P) *slyly sneak out*

OS: FOR THE LOVE OF STARCLAN NO ONE LIKES THAT!

XXX

**Neiyo: haha random….**

**Ya**

**So**

**Uhm**

**Bye**

**I guess O.O**


	4. Chapter 4

**Neiyo: sorry for the long update but ive finally been inspired**

**Although… owlie used this idea for her other fanfiction…**

**Oh well, whatev, its hilarious and I believe tht I shud be shared :3**

**On to jayfeathers story!**

**XXX**

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS NOT SUITIBLE FOR PEOPLE WHO CRAP THEIR PANTS ONCE THEY LAUGH. BE SURE TO USE THE TOILET BEFORE READING….**

**JF: *eats catnip that's dried out and old* … *after a few moments, Jayfeather gets high.* Now let the story begin…**

DP: HEY! IVY GURL! COME HERE

IP: WADYA WANT YA OLD HAG?

DP: dude… I'm the same age as you O_O

IP: oh ya? When's the last time you checked?

DP: just now actually T.T

IP: so… wadya want?

DP: *grabs and earring and puts it on ivypaws ear* NOW CHUR PRETTIFUL!  
IP: AHH! HOLY STARCLAN! IT HURTS SO BAD! *ear bleeds insanely*

DP: MWAHAHAHA! *evily laughs and runs away screaming*

Firestar: omsc! Have you tried this drink? The twolegs call it vodka! Its tastes so *$&#Y*QYin gooooood! *is insanely drunk and high*

IP: HOLY STARCLAN IT BURNNNNNNNSSSSS!

Firestar: *sees ivypaw* DON'T WORRY GREAT GRAND NEICE! I SHALL SAVE YOU! *rushes to ivypaw but trips over Sticky, breaking it in the process*

Jayfeather: HOLY STARCLAN STICKY! *glares daggers at FS* HOW DARE YOU KILL MY WIFIEY?

Firestar: *is still extremely high and drunk* lulwut?

Jayfeather: -Jayfeather evolves into jayfeathersaurusmon!- *music plays* _Digimon. Digital monsters. Digimon~_

AARRGHGHGHGHHHH! JAYFEATHERSAURUSMON!

FS: O_O oh $#^%

JF: IMA FIREN MAH LAZORS! *shoots lazors*

FS: *starts feeling woozy* this is the end! *barfs out his lazor*

JF: OH NOEZ! I NEED TO EVOLVE AGAIN! TAI! HELP ME!

Tai: uhm… this is warrior cats. I'm from digimon O.o

Jayfeather: HELP ME!

Tai: nah, its fine *poofs away*

JF: RAWR! –begins evolving again-

IP: *is still bleeding and screaming in pain* ITS BURNS! ARGHH STARCLAN KILL ME NOW! JUST END IT! KILL ME!

JF: -evolves into Roxannestaristotallycool cuzimawesomelikethatmon- *more music plays* _Digimon. Digital monsters. Digimon. Digimon are the champions! Digivolve into champions! Digivolve into ultimate~ _

ARHFGSHBOWEW! ROXANNESTARISTOTALYCOOL CUZIMAWESOMELIKETHTMON!

Everyone in the world: Uhm…. What? That's impossible I mean really, that name is fourty-seven letters long….

RM(aka Roxannemon for short!): YES IM SERIOUS! Anywhoo…

FOR ROXANNECLAN! *shoots mega ultra lazor at firestar*

Firestar: AHHH! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

IP: *gets blown up* THANK YOOO STARCLAN!

XXX In the dreaded area called StarClan XXX

Bluestar: *face palm* now my clan is into digimon!

Oakheart: how… did this all start?

Bluestar: *groans* dovepaw put an earring in ivypaws ear causing her to scream excessively loud, then firestar heard this but he was drunk so he tried to save ivypaw. Unfortunately for him, he tripped over jayfeathers mate, Stick, and broke her in half. Jayfeather saw this and digivolved into some digimon

Oakheart: descriptive

Bluestar: they need to lay off the catnip

Oakheart: why?

Bluestar: IT'S DRIVING ME AND THEM INSANE!

XXX In WindClan where Jayfeather happens to be XXX

JF: HEY ONESTAR!

Onestar: yes?

JF: who is the emperor of china?

Onestar: I dunno

JF: who is the emperor of china? What is the name of the president of the USA?

Onestar: really jayfeather, I don't know. Please leave me alone to my clan duties

Jayfeather: NOOO! THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Onestar: ughhh! WHAT IS IT?

JF: I am naming four people! Who is the emperor of china! What is the name of the president of the usa! I don't know is the judge of germany!

Onestar: why germany? How do you know harespring is german?

JF: uhm… seriously. Just answer

Onestar: who is the emperor of china? I don't know

Jayfeather: NOOOOOOO! THAT'S THE JUDGE OF GERMANY

Onestar: so…. Who is the name of the president of the usa?

Jayfeather: NOO! THE EMPEROR OF CHINA!

Onestar: the emperor of chinas name is…?

Jayfeather: who

Onestar: that's wat I want to know! Whats the name of the guy?

Jayfeather: what guy?

Onestar: the emperor of china!

Jayfeather: who.

Onestar: WHO WHO?

Jayfeather: OMSC UR AN OWL! DON'T EAT ME!

Onestar: I'll eat you if you don't get OUTTA HERE!

Jayfeather: ok, but remember, who is the emperor of china!

Onestar: I DON'T KNOW!  
Jayfeather: THAT'S THE JUDGE OF GERMANY!

OS: SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!

Jayfeather: *tears well up and whimpers* hurtful!

OS: OMSC IM SORRY! YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN THAT! :O

XXX StarClan again XXX

Tallstar: The stupider they are, they harder the fall

Bluestar: Wait. What? That doesn't even make any sense!

Tallstar: ya it does

Bluestar: no. it doesn't

Tallstar: yes. It. DOES

Bluestar: no. IT. DOESN'T

Tallstar: YES IT DOES SO GOSHNESS!

Bluestar: DON'T GOSHNESS ME!

Tallstar: I, WILL, GOSHNESS YOU!

Bluestar: TAKE THAT BACK OR IMMA KILL YOU!

Tallstar: DUDE! IM ALREADY DEAD!

BS: THEN DIE AGAIN! RAWR! *kills tallstar*

TS: ….OwO

XXX

Oakheart: oh bluey! *skips to bluestars body*

HOLY CHEESE ITS BLUESTAR IS DEAD!

Wait… is that even possible? O.O

XXX In ThunderClan XXX

Ashfur: OMG BRAMBLECLAW I LUFFS U

Squirrelflight: I thought you loved me

Ashfur: ya, well, that was cover

Brambleclaw: well that's just too bad because me and squirrelflight are already mates

Ashfur: WWWHHHHATT?

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks it* rejected guy love…. Rejected guy love… *slyly sneaks out*

Brambleclaw and Ashfur: O_O please stop doing that

Squirrelflight: ._." so ya, go die now Ashfur

Ashfur: URRR GRRR FINE!

*moments later*

I HATE MY LIFEEEEEE! *jumps in a puddle*

OMG IM DROWNING! *trashes around in the puddle*

Mistystar: dude. Stand up O_O

Ashfur: *stops moving* ZOMG CHU SAVED MY LIFE!

Mistystar: no… I just told u to stand up….

Ashfur: IM IN DEBT! I SHALL NOW JOIN CHUR CLAN!

Mistystar: dear god no T.T

XXX In StarClan XXX

Leopardstar: EMOTICON CONTEST XDDDD

Riverstar: OMG YES!

[the contestants are Leopardstar, Riverstar, Charlie the Unicorn, Darth Vader, Badgerpaw, Mosskit, Sweetpaw]

Leopardstar: who ever repeats an emoticon loses! Let play! BEGIN :D

Riverstar: :S

CTU: C:

DV: O:

Badgerpaw: P:

Mosskit: :P

Sweetpaw: :B

Leopardstar: SWEETPAWS A NERD XP

Bluestar: WHAT IN STARCLAN IS GOING ON? O_o

Riverstar: O.O

Charlie the Unicorn: :{P

Darth Vader: D:

Badgerpaw: V:

Mosskit: X3

Sweetpaw: XF

Bluestar: HELLO?

Leopardstar: NOT NOT BLUESTAR! WE'RE HAVING A CONTEST! :O

Riverstar: AHA! LEOPARDSTAR'S OUT! XU

Leopardstar: BEEEP IT!

CTU: ._.

DV: =_=

Badgerpaw: -_-

Mosskit: -.- HEYA MOMMY! *grins at bluestar*

Bluestar: OMG! MOSSKIT?

Sweetpaw: :3

XXX Else Where XXX

Daisy: I love you ferncloud!

Ferncloud: I LUFFS CHU DAISY!

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in* NO! ONLY GUY LOVE IS ALOUD! *growls and slaps them silly with Stik* GUY LOVE! *slyly sneaks out*

Daisy: O_o uhm… what?

Ferncloud: w…we were j… just reciting a script! *hold up a script made by Whitewing*

Daisy: WOAH WOAH WHAT? WHITEWING MADE IT?

Ferncloud: ya, she loves girl love

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in* guy love… B3 *slyly sneaks out*

Ferncloud: he's gotta stop doing that T.T

Daisy: I know right…

Ferncloud: let's continue!

Daisy: ok! *looks at script* oh good! Thank you starclan! *starts making out with ferncloud*

Ferncloud: *makes disturbing noises*

[CENSORED]

[CENSORED]

[CENSORED]

[THE FOLLOWING SCENES HAVE BEEN CENSORED]

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in and records all the censored stuff* B3 totally… going… on CBay… *slyly sneaks out once the censored stuff is finished*

Daisy: was… that… JAYFEATHER WITH A CAMERA?

Ferncloud: nahhh, I think that that was just his long lost twin, GAYfeather

Daisy: but jayfeathers…. Gay…

Ferncloud: WELL THAT EXPLAINS HIS LOVE FOR GUY LOVE!

Daisy: what about girl love?

Ferncloud: screw him, girl love is cooler

Jayfeather: *slyly sneaks in* B3 I AM Gayfeather… It's my real name… Jay was just a cover up… *slyly sneaks out whispering* Guy love… B3

Daisy anf FC: T_T he's really gotta stop that

XXX Later XXX

Jayfeather: *pulls out his laptop and goes to CBAY* this girl love is totally going on cbay AND youtube! *laughs evilly while posting the dvd on CBAY for $2094801747242037401.99 and puts it as his featured video on youtube* girl love… I need to make guy love…

Leafpool: Jayfeather? Where are you Jayfeather?

Jayfeather: SHUT UP MOTHER! I'M TRYING TO POST GIRL LOVE ON YOUTUBE!

Leafpool: *shakes head* kits these days! Getting so rebellious!

XXX MUCH MUCH LATER XXX

Ivypaw: MY EAR! IT STILL HURTS AND STARCLAN SENT ME BACK!

Dovepaw: huh?

Ivypaw: DON'T YOU REMEMBER? YOU PUT AN EARRING ON ME!

Dovepaw: OMSC NO! THAT WAS MY uh… er… EVIL TWIN SISTER IVYPAW!

Ivypaw: oh! Ok! WAIT! I'M IVYPAW! :O I'M EVIL! DARK FOREST TAKE ME! *jumps into the dark forest portal that randomly appeared*

Dovepaw: O_o YOU ALREADY GO TO THE DARK FOREST WHEN YOU DREAM! AND I WAS JOKING! IT WAS ME!

Ivypaw: *drops from the sky* oh.

Dovepaw: *face palm*

XXX

**Neiyo: sorry, not much inspiration for this story**

**So**

**Uh**

…**. Sorry it was really crappy-**

**-ly bad**

**Well.. uhm… BYE**

**THEN**

**CYA**

**NEXT C**

**HAPT**

**ER!**


	5. Chapter 5

**OwlCookies: id like to give special thanks to GoWeegee for completely inspiring me to continue this! No… im not updating ask jayfeather… that fanfiction has died… so unless someone inspires me to continue THAT, its not happening. Its just not happening. Sorry to be mean, BUT. ITS. NOT. HAPPENING. Anywhoo, yeah. Yeah. Ok. Yeah. Totally. Wicked. Epic. Ok…**

**On another note of GoWeegee… I stoled chur ideas XP and added them. Feel proud I has given chu credit~**

**XXXX**

**WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PROGRAM IS NOT SUITIBLE FOR PEOPLE WHO CRAP THEIR PANTS ONCE THEY LAUGH. BE SURE TO USE THE TOILET BEFORE READING….**

JF: *eats catnip that's dried out and old* … *after a few moments, Jayfeather gets high.* Now let the story begin…

Jayfeather: *jumps onto high rock* ahem… COUGH COUGH… AHEM! DUDE! LOOK _UP_! LOOK UP AT THE BLIND CAT! YOU CAN'T MISS HIM! LOOK UP AT THE SILVER AND STRIPPED BLIND KITTY! LOOK UP FOOLS!

Cherrykit: *cocks head* Mama… I hear the wind… It's speaking to me.

Poppyfrost: We'll have to get you checked with Jayfeather. That's not good.

Jayfeather: OH. MY. GREAT. STARCLAN. LOOK UP! **WILL YOU PEOPLE LOOK UP!**__*coughs from screaming to much* GREAT STARCLAN YOU CATS ARE DEF!

Purdy: StarClan poo-it! I hear ya loud and clear!

Lionblaze: *slaps Purdy* SHHHHH

Purdy: WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT YOUN'G I DIDN'T HEAR YOU

Lionblaze: *facepalm*

Jayfeather: WHY ISN'T ANYONE LISTENING TO ME? DO I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF? REALLY?

Brambleclaw: I swear to StarClan, I'm hearing voices. *shakes head* I should get my ears checked later.

Jayfeather: RAMPOOZLEFOOZLE! YOU CATS _FAIL_. I SWEAR TO STARCLAN YOUR EARS EPICLY FAIL. *sees a sign near the leaders den*

IGNORE JAYFEATHER DAY. PARTICIPATION IS REQUIRED.

JF: OH. NOEZ. CHU. DIDN'T! *jumps off the high rock and slaughters the clan*

XXXX In StarClan XXXX

Leopardstar: *explodes and showers her blood all over the place*

Bluestar: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! *laughs hysterically*

Tallstar: …. *face palm*

Pinestar: …You _do_ realize that Jayfeather's on an angry rampage… right..?

BS and LS: MWAHAHAH BWAHAHA! NYEEHEHEH! MWUAHAHAHA!

Pinestar: … *facepalm*

Charlie: OH MY GOD. HOW DID I END UP HERE?

LS: OH MY GREAT GROUNDHOGS ON FIRE! AHH! AHH! GREAT STARCLAN! IT'S CCHAARRLIIIEE! ZOMG YAYZ! *glomps the unicorn*

Charlie: …What?

PS, TS, and BS: HOLY STARCLAN YAYZ! *glomps Charlie*

XXXX In WindClan XXXX

Onestar: OMG CHARLIECLAN! ILL GIVE SOMEONE A UNICORN RIDE IF THEY CAN FIND  
CHARLIE

Breezepelt: BUT CHARLIE RAN AWAY

Crowfeather: BUT THE TWO OTHER UNICORNS ARE HERE!

Onestar: THIS IS _CHARLIE_CLAN NOT THE OTHER TWO OTHER UNICORNCLAN!

Heathertail: OMSC I FOUND CHARLIE!

OS: OMSC WHERE?

HT: HE'S DROWNING IN THE LAKE

OS: [BEEP] NOW I HAFTA RENAME THE CLAN!

HT: LETS BE POPCORNCLAN

CLAN: YES!

OS: WE ARE NOW OFFICIALLY POPCORN CLAN!

*popcorn randomly falls to the ground*

OS: STARCLAN HAS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS!

*all the unicorns implode*

OS: AW MAN :O

Clan: *eats all the popcorn* YAY!

XXXX Near RiverClan XXXX

Ashfur: You irritate me! You're all prissy cuz you can do stuffs _we_ CAN'T do! You just watch me! I'll swim too! *takes 4 steps into the lake* HOLY CHEEZE-ITZ IM DROWNING! SOMEONE SAVE MEEE!

Mistystar: …Ashfur…

AF: DON'T JUST STAND THERE! SAVE ME WOMAN!

MS: Ashfur… Stand up…

AF: OMG! YOU SAVED MY LIFE!

XXXX In ShadowClan XXXX

Blackstar: Alright Twix Clan! I just got a message! Ashfur's drowning! Any propositions as to how we save him?

Russetfut: Can't we just let him die..? Like, dunk his head under water so he'll die?

Tawnypelt: Let's get a buoy!

Tigerheart: LET'S GET _FIRESTAR_ AND USE HIS MAGICAL FLAMING ALCHEMY AND MAGICAL POWERS TO BURN ALL THE ICE SO HE'LL BE SAVED!

BS: OMSC! THAT'S GENIUS! OK TWIXCLAN! LET'S GET FIRESTAR!

TwixClan: *raids ThunderClan and steals Firestar*

Firestar: NUUU!

BS: ALRIGHT FIRESTAR! SAVE YOUR STUPID CLAN MEMBER WITH YOUR FIREY POWERS! MELT THE ICE AND

SAVE

HIM

FS: That's… why… you… dragged me here? Are… Are you serious…

BS: *facepalm* FAIL. SEE LOOK. MISTYSTAR SAVED HIM. WHAT KIND OF LEADER ARE YOU

FS: WHAT KIND OF CLAN ARE _YOU_

Random cats: OOOHHH BURRNNN! YOU JUST GOT BURNED BY _FIRESTAR_

XXXX Back in StarClan XXXX

Bluestar and Leopardstar: *still laughing* BWAHAHAH! MWAHAHHA! NYEEHE! HAHAHA!

Pinestar: IT'S GETTING OLD PEOPLE. IT'S. GETTING. OLD.

Tallstar: *facepalm*


End file.
